Alumni Weekend is upon us.

Indeed, True Believers, this is the weekend of all weekends at Ohio Wesleyan; the epitome of the year. If there are 52 weekends in a year, this weekend is 3/52 of importance (all of the other weekends are 1/52; to make up the difference, we'll forget the second weekend in February and the first weekend in August).

Yes, this weekend is when the Battling Bishop becomes the Pied Piper of OWU alumni and leads the reunion classes of years that end in 1 and 6 back to the hallowed halls of Grey Chapel, Slocum Hall, and Thompson Hall, where they pay to sleep in the dorms again. Is it ironic that you pay to sleep in uncomfortable dorms with three other people 25 years after you promised yourself you would never live in those conditions ever again? Sure it is- but witness the beauty that is Alumni Weekend.

Ah, Alumni Weekend. Over 1,000 alumni will be on campus, partaking in the festivities, including many dinners, speakers, parades, and the ever-important All-Alumni Dance. If you are not making it back for this weekend, this archetype of alumni events, you will be missing the most important- nay- the quintessential Ohio Wesleyan experience. I will be there and I didn't even attend Ohio Wesleyan.

The campus is abuzz in preparation- currently I am looking out my window, watching the Service Department power washing the sidewalk, Delaware sparkling in the background. Come back, see old friends, meet new people, watch me attempt to two-step or do the hustle or whatever other dance I am talked into trying at the Alumni Dance (I promise it will be horrible- but probably not the worst).

I am attempting to procure a name tag that doesn't say "Assistant Director of Annual Giving" on it so people will talk to me without thinking I will hit them up for money. I guess you'll have to come to see if I actually reach that goal. If you see people running away from me, please come up and say "hi" to me. I promise that I won't ask you for money (yet).

A Man's Man
This weekend, I moved to a grown-up apartment. Prior to Sunday, May 14 (and yes, I do realize that it was Mother's Day; it was the only day I could move for the rest of the month), I lived in a large house with 3-5 roommates; the number varied frequently. My new place has exposed brick, track lighting, and heat. It is also clean. Every time that I walk in the door, I feel like I'm walking into a hotel room.

My old place was like a pseudo-fraternity house crossed with an episode of "Wild America." Nothing worked, no one cleaned because we were all "trying to make a point," and even we did clean the common areas, dust and grime would appear 10 seconds later. You can see a picture of the house on my old roommates band site (yes, I lived with a band).

What was amazing was that instead of fixing things, we would just let them go. I know that inanimate objects shouldn't fix themselves, but I learned that if you let things go long enough, it will always work out. For example, we had a clogged drain for a couple of months, and then one day- POOF!- it fixed itself. As my roommate and witness Seth said:

"It made a loud,weird, burpy sound, and the water disappeared. I guess the weight of the water pushed the gook down the drain. Or maybe it just got tired of being there."

"Maybe it just got tired of being there." As if the clog was alive. Who knows, maybe it was? Living there was like living in Opposite World- another dimension, if you will- where nothing worked as it should.

We also had a variety of animal guests (or maybe we were the guests- that blows my mind) in the house, including mice, ants, gnats, fruit flys, black birds, a squirrel, suicidal sparrows, a dog, and a bat that I killed with a boat oar. It actually was a science experiment as man and animal learned to co-exist together (except for the bat). I will save those stories for another day.

I sleep better in my new place and I feel older and more mature. I feel refreshed and warmer (as in physically warmer because in my new place, the windows actually stop the weather from coming in). Maybe I will turn the corner and actually write a legitimate blog at some point, choc full of information and news that you, the reader, can use, instead of useless information.

Then again, maybe not.