Wednesday, September 13, 2006

 

Raffle What!?!?!

To support Team OWU, Ohio Wesleyan is again offering the chance to win tickets to the BCS National Championship game (aka "The Fiesta Bowl"). The winner of the tickets will be determined by a raffle drawing, with 1 person selected out of 200 tickets, meaning every ticket has a .5% chance of winning. Raffle tickets will cost $100. The game tickets will be located somewhere between the 15 and 30 yard lines, and the package includes a two night stay and car rental in Phoenix, AZ.

If you really want to go to the game (keep in mind that the Large School Down South has won 3 out of the past 4 Fiesta Bowls), I suggest someone stepping up and buying all 200 tickets. Think about it: not only do you support Ohio Wesleyan Athletics, but you also ensure yourself of a raffle victory. If that isn't win-win, then I'm not sure what is.

On a side note, I'm sure the Ohio State will run the table this season- I've never seen a OSU offense move at will like this year's does. After watching the Bucks dominate Texas on Saturday (funny how the cameras quit cutting to Matthew McCauh-(however you spell it) after the second quarter) and attending the Browns game on Sunday, I'm pretty sure that OSU could beat the Browns right now. That bodes well for the Raffle. Of course, last time I commented on a team I followed in this blog, they promptly imploded and the season was lost (thank you, Cleveland Indians).

Face of Terror
Today in Mowry, we had an emergency. We ran out of coffee and, in a haze of deceit and exhaustion, someone mistakenly made decaffeinated coffee. Can you imagine the horror felt throughout this office? We almost drank decaffeinated coffee! I can't believe that those two words exist together: decaffeinated coffee. Nonalcoholic beer. Fat-free potato chips. Tofurkey (which is meatless turkey- and no matter what anyone says, it does NOT taste like turkey). Sugarless gum. Lean Pockets. We might as well throw in Moneyless Annual Fund (there is the AF tie-in).

Decaffeinated coffee, I scoff at the idea of you. I don't drink coffee for the taste. NO! I drink it for the results. A jolt to my system, to recharge my batteries, to move me forward. "The Darker the Better" is my rally cry! I don't want to drink the coffee, I want to have eat it with a spoon! I want my coffee to be so strong that I have to chase it down, just like the caveman chasing a mighty mastodon, an Apache warrior chasing Buffalo, Captain Ahab chasing Moby Dick, Rosco chasing Bo and Luke Duke! Yes. YES!

Stupid decaffeinated coffee. I spit in your decaffeinated beans.

Another quick side note
I was accused today of not knowing the difference between caffeinated and decaffeinated coffees by Ericka, a woman of many talents in the Public Relations office here at OWU. Yes, many talents, but one talent she cannot claim is that of "Brewmaster of Mowry," which has been bestowed upon one Jason Robert Thompson. And with that title comes great responsilibity, one of which is knowing that difference.

Anyway, Ericka decided to lambast me with the following e-mail. You, the reader, can decide who has a coffee problem in this office:

Oh, Jason. If no one told you it was decaffeinated, you wouldn't have noticed. You'd be like one of the college students "they" allegedly conducted a study on in the 1980s --"they" gave a bunch of college kids NA beer, but didn't tell them it was NA. Yet the kids still acted drunk. I could see you being that way. There goes Jason again....one beer and he is tipsy!

Anyway, thank Larry. He brought in a big can of coffee from Kroger that I am about to go open. Ah...the virgin can. I love the first time you open a can of coffee and get that huge coffee smell.

So Larry the Researcher saved the day. This office is a scary place without caffeine. A movie is in the works to retell the story of Larry's exploits today. In fact, the movie poster is already out. Check your local listings for movie times.


Comments:
The entire world waits with great anticipation more information on your gustatory preferences.
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : Thursday, September 14, 2006
 
Maybe not the entire world; but all that he says about caffeine is right on!
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : Thursday, September 14, 2006
 
A wonderful fundraising plan with a clear relationship to the quality of the Bishop Football program and coaching staff.
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : Friday, September 15, 2006
 
This research loser needs to get a life............
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : Friday, September 15, 2006
 
sorry about the browns. sucks to lose.
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : Sunday, September 17, 2006
 
Where is this week's blog? Just because Delaware shuts down for the Jug doesn't mean the Blog gets to take a break.
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : Wednesday, September 20, 2006
 
in the first place, the blog should be posted upon more frequently than weekly
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : Thursday, September 21, 2006
 
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